Why am I having sex dreams about my dad?

Dear freaked out by dreams,

In our culture, many theories of dream interpretation have been proposed. Perhaps the most well-known are those of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, which suggest some consistent rules for uncovering the meaning of symbols and events in a person's dream. The Electra-complex is one psychological theory regarding a woman's love and sexual desire for her father. Remember, this is one perspective shared by some in the field of psychology. A former student of Freud, Carl Jung wrote about archetypes and imagery and suggests that dreams are a way to connect you to your unconscious. For further reading, try Freud's Interpretation of Dreams or On Dreams and Jung's Dreams or Memories, Dreams, Reflections.

Some dreams can be a bit jarring or uncomfortable. Dreams involve dramatic, humorous, and sometimes confusing symbolism, as you describe. You mention your sexual apathy and your relationship with your boyfriend. It is possible that your dream could be trying to help you face these issues. Remember that characters in dreams do not always represent who they are in real life. While your father appears in your dream, his persona could be a symbol of your feelings about your relationship with your boyfriend, or something else entirely. Before definitively accepting the role of Electra, you may want to consider whether your sexual life, satisfaction, and desires are crossing dreamland wires with issues related to your father.

It sounds like you are interested in delving further into the meaning of your dream and/or your current relationship. Would you be interested in speaking with a trained clinician (psychologist, counselor) who will help you explore the meaning of your dream and/or the thoughts you are having about your self-described sexual apathy?

Outside of counseling, there are several other options. You could confide in the friends you mention about what your dream means (it's likely your friends have had uncomfortable dreams too, sharing the stand-out dreams may be a relief for both of you). You could consider opening a dialogue with your boyfriend about whether you are each sexually and otherwise satisfied with your relationship. You may want to consider consistently writing your thoughts in a journal after you have the dream and then reflecting on your reactions and interpretations. Another option is a vast number of dream interpretation books and websites; some are for entertainment while others are grounded in research and theory. See Health information on-line: Who can you trust? to get an idea of how to discern trustworthy sources. None of these solutions is better or worse than the other, it's all about how you want to approach your dream.

The mysteries of the unconscious mind are as unique as the individual. All the best in unraveling your own personal mystery.