What's the difference between fluid during arousal and discharge?

Dear Need Answers, 

Asking questions about sexual function is important, especially when you’re looking to improve or prepare for sexual experiences. To clarify, both vaginal discharge and increased moisture during arousal are typical vaginal responses. Vaginal discharge describes the fluids that come from the cervix, uterus, and vagina that help protect the vagina from infection. On the other hand, arousal fluid, a natural lubricant, usually increases in production when you’re aroused. These fluids aid in lubricating the vagina during penetrative sex. Additionally, the vagina stretches to accommodate penetration and will return to its resting size and shape following sexual activity. Each person needs a different amount of stimulation to comfortably have penetrative sex. Therefore, communicating with your partner and exploring what makes you feel good are crucial. Continue reading to learn about the different forms of vaginal discharge and tips for less painful and more pleasurable penetrative sex! 

What is vaginal discharge? 

To first clear up some terms, you may find it useful to think of vaginal discharge as an umbrella term that’s used to describe fluids that come from the cervix, uterus, and vagina. These aid in the cleaning and lubrication processes and help protect against infection. Discharge is usually white or clear, relatively odorless, and may change in texture over the course of your menstrual cycle. The amount of discharge that’s considered normal varies from person to person. Paying attention to the amount of discharge you typically produce each day and watching for changes in amount, texture, and scent can be a beneficial way to monitor your vaginal health. If you’re experiencing changes in your discharge or discomfort around the vaginal area, you may consider reaching out to a health care provider. 

Which discharge fluids make you “wet” when aroused? 

• Arousal fluid can be produced when your body experiences sexual desire, stimulation, or arousal. The natural lubricant secretes from the vaginal walls during the first stage of arousal. As blood flow increases to the vagina, this fluid increases through the various arousal states and subsides after orgasm. Because it’s only produced when you’re aroused, the discharge that you may notice day-to-day is usually not a product of arousal fluid. 
• Squirting fluid is the clear liquid that’s produced by the Skene’s glands during orgasm. Not all people assigned female at birth (AFAB) squirt during orgasm, and it’s not required to orgasm.  
• Cervical mucus is often the main component of the discharge you produce and feel on a regular basis. Cervical mucus, created by the cervix, helps transport sperm through the cervix and into the uterus. It may change in texture and color throughout your menstrual cycle. Therefore, when sexually aroused, the fluid may help to provide some lubrication, depending on where in your cycle you are. 

Is there a way to “prepare” for penetrative sex? 

Your concern about size compatibility is valid, but it may be reassuring to learn that the vagina is an elastic organ! When aroused, the vaginal opening stretches and the cervix tilts upward. This creates more space in the vaginal canal for penetration. 

Additionally, communicating with your partner before, during, and after sex is important for making sure you’re both comfortable and sexually satisfied. Starting slowly may help prepare your body for penetration. Giving your body the time it needs to produce arousal fluid by engaging in foreplay or oral sex may make penetration easier. You may also choose to use your (or your partner’s) fingers or a sex toy to help slowly stretch your vaginal opening. For additional comfort and ease, you could also employ the use of vagina-safe lube.  

What if you still feel pain even after trying different strategies to reduce it? 

All bodies are different and there’s still a chance that the structure of your vagina and cervix may cause penetrative sex to be painful, despite preparation and communication. If you experience pain, listen to your body’s cues and try communicating your discomfort. Although common for many people, painful sex can be a sign that your body needs something different. If you continue to feel pain when trying penetrative sex, it may be beneficial to speak with a health care professional. They may help you find other possible causes of pain and work with you on how to improve it.  

Hopefully learning more about the vaginal discharge and the structure of the vagina helps you feel more prepared for your first time!